Stop Sabotaging Your Life & Business

I grew up in a home of expressions like “do as I say, not as I do”, “children are to be seen and not heard” and “because I said so.” Did you? Through much research it appears that this was a model that many of us were raised on. Our parents did it, theirs did it and now so do we. We are all products of our environment and were taught by our guardians before us. We learn from them and they become the model of the norm.

It reminds me of the story of the young girl that was watching her mother cut the ham and she asks, “mommy, why are you cutting the ham?” The mothers looks at her and says, “because grandma used to cut the ham”. She then asks, “why did grandma cut the ham, mommy?” She said “I don’t know dear, let me call grandma.” “Mom, why did you cut ham?” She answers, “I never had a pot big enough to fit it in.”

My mother did, her mother did it and so I’ll do it too. Today we have bigger ovens and bigger pots so what held weight back then may not make any sense today. It is no longer good enough to continue with rituals of those before us if they no longer serve you.

I have experienced a great deal in my lifetime. Being told to follow rules that never made sense to me. As a young child I was taught through my religion that we were not allowed to drive on Saturday. When I asked why, I was told we were supposed to rest our horses. Now, know that I did not grow up riding a horse and buggy.  My parents told me the car had “horse power” therefore we could not drive it. Now I understand being kind to humanity, but I didn’t think a car needed rest. Back then this insanity of tradition infuriated me. Today I can get a chuckle out of it because I choose to question what is right and wrong for me. You can see I can be somewhat of a rebel, since you may now have figured out what faith I was raised in and I was just talking about the ham. 🙂

I get to make decisions of what it right or wrong based on what I know today to be true. Just because others did it before me doesn’t mean I need to do it too. Tomorrow I give myself the right to change my min, but today I make my own rules. What about you?

That’s right I did… Let me tell you about my affair.
I’ll start by telling you it was a big secret in the beginning.
I never let anyone know about it. I used to wait until I was alone and I would call my love who was always there for me guaranteed, no questions, arguments or judgment, just loved me the way I was.
I remember days that I felt lonely and I’d turn to my love and felt fulfilled.
Days that I didn’t feel too good about myself, my love would make me feel better.
Even the fat does were good days. As a matter of fact, my love helped me create more fat days and loved me anyway.
I tried many times to break up, but every time I did, my friends would encourage me to get back together.
My love would show up everywhere I went and try to get back in my life.
I told my love it was over, it wasn’t a healthy relationship and for awhile I was left alone,
but it was in those times of uncertainty, when I was depressed, afraid, or angry that I wanted my love the most.
I felt so secure and safe but knew it wasn’t a good relationship. It was so one sided.
It was unbelievable when I think what my love took from me and gave me nothing in return.
Made me feel I wasn’t enough and finally took everything from me.
I lost my relationships with my family, friends, money and my business started to suffer.
More importantly my love took my self-worth from me and made me feel so low, that I hated myself for it.
You wonder why I would stay in such a destructive relationship.
Well, I’ll tell you, I was hurting and in pain and didn’t know anyone else could help.
I didn’t know I could help.
I didn’t want to be alone and in reality I was the loneliest I have ever been.
Finally, I broke up with my love and found a new one.
I am no longer having an affair with my food.

– Lisa Lieberman-Wang
www.FINEtoFAB.com

Wow that darned inner voice can be brutal and hard to ignore and even live with. Some of us are lucky enough to go through life, filled with supportive thoughts, but more often than not that voice is demeaning and cruel. Our self depreciated words often tells us how weak we are, how ashamed we should be, and we even curse ourselves for being fat and unattractive; it even hurts to read these thoughts here doesn’t it? Then don’t do it anymore! I mean, would you ever talk to your loved ones like you talk to yourself sometimes? I think not and if anyone deserves love and respect it’s you. Stop beating yourself up and love yourself now. Learn to appreciate yourself for all the wonderful things that you are. Love your body for getting you through life the way it has, love your powerful heart for allowing happiness in and beating ceaselessly to get you where you are today.

Negative self talk will often lead to obsessive thoughts like “no one loves me” or “I am weak” and “I can’t do this!” How useful do you think statements like these will be to actually losing weight, getting that job you want so badly, or even being a role model for your children? Instead they can lead you down the road to being a door mat for those around you to take advantage of, never having the courage to say “No!” to unreasonable requests, never trying to go for that big break because you don’t believe you’ll be able to achieve it; this is no way to go through life.

The world around you is full of wonderful possibilities but it’s up to you to avoid sitting on the sidelines while everyone around you achieves their dreams. Make a list of fun things to do, just for yourself, and make time to do them. Perhaps start by joining a fun exercise group, perhaps a dance class or Yoga which is wonderful way to relax and still get in a good workout. If you’re beating yourself up because you can’t seem to lose weight, give yourself a break or you’ll never see the numbers on the scale go down. Stop making dieting a chore; make it fun. Try a few tasty new healthy recipes, enjoy a bit of chocolate when you feel like it, and when you hear yourself saying negative things to yourself; stop that badgering voice! If you happen to fall off your diet, stop beating yourself up; instead pat yourself on the back for recognizing it and start fresh. Not loving yourself can lead to emotional eating and worse and you deserve so much more.

Next, don’t worry so much! It’s easy to get caught up in worry mode. It is estimated that many of us think up to 60,000 thoughts per day and typically over 1/3 of these are negative, and it’s in how we handle these naysayer thoughts that defines how we live. Living in fear and self persecution can hold you back from the happiness and successes you deserve. If for any reason you find that you can’t stop beating yourself up reach out for the help of a professional; sometimes it takes two to quiet those unkind voices and unhappy thoughts.

If you want to learn how to maintain a proper diet, how to stay enthusiastic about life, and most important of all, how to stop beating yourself up and love yourself now find out more about The Fine to Fab Transformational Program that addresses your well-being and not just your health.